Single and Waiting

There can be a thousand thoughts within me that can send me different directions. Waiting for my future husband--well, that is just one of those frequent thoughts. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be hard if not used as an useful instrument. It can bring on loneliness and many other others.

The Lord placed this verse on my heart last night: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Solomon 2:7)

This verse has great significance for me. Solomon thought it was so significant that it is found 3 times within his short 8 chapter book in the Bible on love where he reminds us that "love is as strong as death (8:6)". This kind of love is worth waiting for. In the Bible, a marriage is used to mirror our relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus is the ultimate picture of the depths of love! God's love for us is so strong that He sent His one and only son to die on the cross for our sins, so that we may have a relationship with Him. God calls us--He waits lovingly, but longs to be with us.

That kind of emotion probably resonates with many people. Deep longing that pulls us in, and makes us want it greatly. But, there is a time of waiting.. Let's look at another passage.

Song of Solomon 3:1-3:1 All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. 3 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?”

Many of us go around looking. We desire it so much that we keep looking.
Ever hear those words "looking for love in all the wrong places"?
Many of us do go looking.
We continue looking in different places.

Our focus is on looking, instead of allowing our focus to be on Christ! Looking instead of praying for our future spouse and ourselves as we wait. We may look exactly like the woman in this passage, and go from place to place desperately looking and searching. God knows exactly what is in store for us, so we do not have to go frantically searching. God's plans will never be messed up! God has had the plan He has for our lives since He created us. He knows exactly who it is. It is more profitable and enjoyable to be filled with His hope and guidance as we keep our eyes on Him!

Hebrews reminds of us that we need to remove all distractions and keep our eyes on Him. Hebrews 12:1-3 says, 1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
 
Waiting in His loving arms makes the wait enjoyable, and helps us realize He is enough and our provider!

The waiting is difficult, but we know that this kind of love is worth it. Love like this is worth fighting for. Sometimes, waiting for such love in our own lives is a great fight. Waiting for our future spouse or children~ there is a waiting process, but aligning ourselves up with God's will is essential. His timing is always perfect. He has a divine plan for each of us! As we wait for the stories of our lives to unfold, we need to stay watchful, praying, being alert and sober minded, resisting the enemy, and standing our ground--being firm in our faith! Seeking the Lord first, because He is to be our top priority. He is our provider and the One through whom all blessings flow.

The Devil will seek to distract us. It'd be easy to date anyone, get frustrated or discouraged, or even give up the courage to wait. Temptation surrounds us as we wait for whatever we find ourselves waiting for: Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the ultimate one to wait for, then we have our future spouse, friends, kids, etc... Scripture reminds us of two things as we face various temptations as we wait:

Matthew 26:41: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” We have got to be our guard. If we are not, we will given into temptation. We need to keep relying on Him!

1 Peter 5:8-10: 8 "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your fellow believers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace...will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. " 

Waiting brings temptations, but the Bible teaches us that we can wait and overcome those temptations. 

The verse in Song of Solomon relates greatly to where I am in my life. This is a verse I stumbled upon quite a few years ago. This has been a life verse. I have not thought of it in a while, but it is still written on my heart.  I have shared it with a couple people along the way as I have continued my journey. "Do not awaken love until it so desires." In other words, "Don't rush! God's timing is perfect." We often want to take things into our control. When we desire to do things our way instead His, we will end up being disappointed and off the course He has set us on.

Instead, we need to trust our God that He knows exactly what we need. He knows and understands these deep longings we have. He even knows that we want to rush the present to reach the future of that special time of our lives. His timing is perfect. Also, running to Him is the perfect place for us. God desires to use this time to prepare our hearts and minds, and also to grow us in Him. It is a time of preparation. This is the perfect time for growing in Christ before we find ourselves filled with these treasures we desire---treasures of love and time spent with those we love... Those who will be there to spur us on in our walk with Christ!

Reminded of these words in this lyrics:
Average Girl by Barlow Girl

"God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run"

Whatever season we find ourselves in, His arms are the perfect place for us. He is there ready to welcome us, hold us, cry with us, and grow us. Also, while we are here--perfect time to pray for our future spouses.

The Cross: Faith and Its Evidence

I am resuming a Bible study I started doing a few months ago, but didn't get very far into it. Not sure how often I will post, but hoping to post more often--sharing thoughts from my Bible study times. It is a Bible study called "The Cross" through Setting the Captives Free Ministries. It is barely day 3 of 60, so hoping I can pop in occasionally to share the riches of the study.
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Our faith--it is not blind. It is real. Jesus is a real man who lived amongst us, was crucified, died, and then was resurrected from the dead by the power of God. Other non-biblical writings from 1st century TESTIFY to the truth! (Tacitus, Josephus, Pliny's letter to Trajan, among others) Jesus is real. It isn't faith without evidence. The Bible shows us the reason for our faith, because it is based on truth.

"Our faith, quite the opposite of being "blind" is rather based on the evidence which God reveals to us in His Word, and which can be verified through research" are the words from today's lesson. It's just the simple truth that there is evidence to our faith. What we believe is true... It isn't dangling out of nothing, but it is based on proven evidence. We can't have a steady belief and live what we believe without evidence. Read what Thomas reply is to Jesus upon seeing Jesus for the first time since His resurrection: "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." May we be driven to find the evidence for our faith--seeking the ultimate truth.Jesus' crucifixion isn't only verified through history; we also see the depth of the prophesies spoken about Him and our salvation that was to be given to us. It is by Jesus Christ that I have salvation--through His crucifixion, death, and resurrection--I am given freedom from sin, new life, eternal life, and a personal relationship with God. The prophets searched thoroughly the prophesies that God revealed to them. The prophesies PREDICTED Christ's sufferings and the glories that would be seen.

Inquiring is worthy of taking note. We need to inquire--searching the Scriptures for the truth.

God's Word and prophets prophesy about what Jesus would go through. These are only two passages that begin to share the prophesies we have been given...
Isaiah 53:8-9 says, "8By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. 9He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth."

Psalm 22:14-18 says, "14I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me. 15My mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death. 16Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet. 17All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. 18They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment"

These verses aren't just words on the page, but they reveal the truth of what our Saviour would endure. These prophesies were made long before Jesus was born as a baby in a manger. Psalm 22 is estimated to have been written in 979 B.C, while Isaiah 53 is estimated at 711 B.C. That's quite an advance sharing of who the Messiah would be.. Over 970 years between the prophesy of Psalm 22 and Jesus' birth. The prophesies are where God is revealing details of the Messiah--the Saviour. The Saviour, Jesus Christ, who would bear the sin of the world, so that we may know Him and experience everlasting life and a personal relationship with God. It is only through His son Jesus that such a relationship can take place..

The cross was prophesied in the Old Testament, was fulfilled and recorded in the New Testament, and is historically verifiable in both religious and non-religious writings. The faith of Christians in the death of Christ rests on the revealed truth of God's Word, and can be verified historically in numerous ways."

Faith has evidence (Hebrews 11:1)… What is our evidence for our faith? For Thomas, he saw and touched Jesus' hands and feet to know it was really Him. Thomas felt Jesus' side where He had been struck and the water and blood came pouring out. That was his evidence for his faith--He saw Jesus--He knew. He experienced the truth. We have so much evidence to deepen our faith as believers in Christ. God's Word shows me the truth. Through it, He shows me the scars of his hands and feet. I can experience Him--experience His truth!  Not only is there God's Word, but there are other sources for knowing what I believe in is absolutely true: Jesus died on the cross for my sins and was resurrected from the dead. I can be assured that my faith and the reason for my faith is absolutely truth…

Jesus is ALL I need! I want to cling to Him, and know Him more… His Word continues to teach me the truth and grow me deeper in my faith to Him. I, as a sinner, am unworthy of God's amazing grace--still He continues to greatly show me His grace and His abundant love for me! He has gone to great lengths to me just how much He loves me...Completely unworthy and deserve any of it, but given a great reward--just as this song says.

Concept of Rest

I wanted to write something today, just to post. I haven't been able to get on here to post since Christmas day. Kinda saddening. I want to write. My thoughts are just all jumbled up. I have been feeling pretty defeated this week in a sense. It is definitely attacking my emotions and how I am doing overall. It is hard. To be chronically ill, (seems to be a popular topic on my blog) it is such a struggle.

On Saturday, I began doing a Bible study with some friends. Such a struggle physically though. It ends up being a really long day. I know what I want to be able to go on Saturdays though. The million dollar question: How do I do it without spending the week recovering from it? Nothing seems to come easy, especially when fatigue and pain come into play. For the past two weeks, I have been struggling more so with a loss of energy. It is one thing to try to learn what rest is and practice it when it is by choice. It is a different story when it is a mandatory thing for one's body.

I want to come to a place of Matthew 11:28, which reminds me of the need to rest.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

I want that relief and refreshment. I want physically, but so much spiritually. I want to receive another "mountain-top" experience with my Lord, where I am feeling much closer to Him! Rest is a key part of it.

The practice of rest doesn't come easy to many. We often spend our time and attention overthinking it--or planning out how to rest instead of actually resting. I am on my own self-discovery of what it means to rest, how is it done, and beginning the process of actually resting. Resting: it is a hard concept for many. We simply do not know how to rest or where to begin.

Protection from Hardships

Today, my prayer has been for God to show me what I am doing right. Also, to show me what I am doing wrong in my life. No areas is to be excluded. I want to know how I challenge myself to do better... be better.

I was able to begin checking out a new devotional book I received by Dr. Charles Stanley. It has an "ask" section where Stanley answered a believer's question about the hardship he was facing as a result of sharing the Gospel with a co-worker. As I read and thought about what we are called to as believers, I am reminded that it does mean hardships. It means a different life--one with eternal blessings, but also temporary sufferings.

King David, in Psalm 7, wrote of the hardship he was facing--where someone was pursuing him. Often in life, there are others that desire to hurt us and be our "pursuers". There are many who would love to destroy us. There are many who would love to bring cruel words to "tear my soul apart, rending it in pieces". I know the great hope I have: the Lord is my shield and deliverer. I am not one who has to fight my own battles; The Lord fights my battles. I can boldly come to Him--trusting and knowing he doesn't leave me or forsake me.

When opposition comes, it is gut-wretching. It brings on great fears, and changes the way I think or go about my day. But, what about the hidden benefits of them?

In Matthew 5, it says:

"They are blessed who are persecuted for ·doing good [doing what’s right;the sake of righteousness], for the kingdom of heaven ·belongs to them [is theirs]. ¹¹ “·You are blessed [Blessed are you; or God will bless you] when people ·insult [mock; abuse; revile] you and ·hurt [persecute] you. They will lie and say all kinds of evil things ·about [against] you because ·you follow [of] me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because you have a great reward in heaven. ·People did the same evil things to [They likewise persecuted] the prophets who lived before you." (10-12)

We will experience hardships, but it grows us and helps us to be reminded of this great treasure we hold inside. Jesus died on the cross for our sins and was raised from the dead, because of God's great love for us. He came to bring us salvation and new life. We can rejoice and be glad, because we know that we have the greatest kind of rewards in Heaven. We know we will have ALL we need! He is our provider. He will continue to walk with me no matter what fiery trial I will face.

We notice these hardships when they come.
But, do we notice how often we are protected from possible hardships?
Do we recognize how much we are protected by the Father from hardships or others' words?

I think it is really easy to focus on what we don't have. That is when we feel like we are lacking, whether it is friends, significant other, or family. It is really easy to notice those things especially around the holidays. Those are the things we notice. We seem to be better trained to notice ways we stand out from others in this world, rather than taking time to notice the great blessings we have been giving. I know he uses these times to teach me, but also protect me.

May we take the time to recognize the blessings and protection from the Father we have been given, but often overlook.

2012...

The year is almost over. Toward the end of 2011, my life began to dramatically change. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My body totally went the wrong way. Instead of getting stronger, I got weaker. I felt weaker. Things that shouldn't exhaust me--began to exhaust me. Coming from that place at the end of last year, I don't think I could of predicted how this year would go. I didn't think much about the new year or what it would bring. As 2013 approaches, I don't think much about the new year and what it may potentially bring. I will know what it brings when it gets here.

Each new year brings blessings and challenges. The only way to prepare is to review. For me, 2012 was quite the interesting year. I enrolled in taking some masters classes. I dropped out of school by May. In May, I was also diagnosed with Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, which is a horrible illness that nobody should ever face. Thankfully, I found substantial help from supplements/vitamins to help me cope with it where the pain isn't that bad. It keeps me from getting zapped alot of times. My greatest struggle is Fibromyalgia. It seems to have definitely progressed as I look back over the past year. How it will progress next? Only time will tell. This past year, it has impacted alot. For the past 6 months or so, I couldn't go into service at church due to extreme sensitivity to sound. The sensitivity to sound has been life-altering. It is so hard to plan things out when I can't handle loud sounds. The dishwasher, at times, is too loud. There have been some small chemical sensitivities. In dealing with Fibromyalgia, my biggest issue is teaching myself to rest. I still need to learn to pace myself, and find ways to balance tasks to be done and getting the rest I need.

Part of the learning process is taking careful notice of what I am doing and trying to see how it affects me.

Another one of the greatest challenges I have faced is my diet. Before 2012, I only know I was lactose intolerant (even though I didn't eat like it). What happened in that area this year?

Gluten
I react very badly when I have gluten, so my diet has gone from eating whatever I want to carefully choosing and planning ahead to avoid gluten. The consequences for having gluten can be long lasting, so it isn't worth the momentary pleasure it can give my taste buds. It is better to stay away, even when it is hard to do.

Peanuts
I figured out Peanut Butter causes alot of issues. IE) my throat feeling like it is closing up. Then, there is the whole not being able to breathe thing. Did I mention Peanut Butter is an all-time favorite? I haven't found a replacement as of yet. Maybe, it will come in time.

Fructose/Sugar
On top of everything else, I have to seriously limit myself to no fructose and limit the amount of sugar I consume. I am still trying to figure this one out too. I have noticed bad stomachaches from sugar/fructose.It is a matter of learning to balance how much sugar I have. Still learning that one..

I obviously have alot of learning to do concerning what I can and cannot eat. They are running a food allergy blood panel to see if it shows anything, then I can experiment with those specific foods. I think avoiding gluten is easier than all this is. It's alot to limit sugar, no peanut butter whatsoever, and limit dairy products. And that is on top of no gluten. I actually do still eat. Crazy thing is I am getting used to the food thing. No fructose/low sugar and no peanuts has only been going on since Thanksgiving, so that area is very new for me. The Lord is sovereign over it all! He matters more than food. He is teaching me that there is more to life than food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat.

He came to give me life, but not an ordinary life--He came to give me an abundant life!

Despite everything, I have been able to stay focused on my Lord and know He is still there. He doesn't leave me no matter what happens. He has definitely used all of these things to strengthen me in Him. He has helped me to overcome all these things, and still be able to stand. The greatest thing is He continues to help me to get up in the mornings, and find a way to see this life is worth living--He continues to show me I have purpose. Even on the days when Fibro is really making life a struggle.... I still have many days when i just want to force myself to do things I use to. Mentally, I just haven't adjusting to a life of chronic illness. In other ways, I have definitely made changes.He continues to show me all I need..

Alot of things are different. Alot more things will be difference as this year turns into the next...All that matters is keeping my eyes focused on Him. He is my source of strength!

Hebrews 12:2-3

² Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds.

Enemy of God or Child of God?

Enemy of God or Child of God?
Slave to religion or Friend of Jesus?

Turning to other gods or Focused on Christ?
Focused on doing or our Relationship with Christ?

Every day, we make choices. Our choices become habits. Our habits define us. We choose who we will follow. We choose to model our lives after the world, our friends, co-workers, the media, or choose to follow Jesus Christ. Each decision we make is influenced by something or someone.

We will either be a child of God or His enemy. Period. There is no in-between. It is only when we completely turn to Christ that we find freedom, peace, and are no longer separated from God. It is in this place where we choose Him instead of sin...when we choose to follow Him instead of other things. Friend of God or Enemy of God? We determine where we end up...Jesus is the only way to God and to Heaven!

What would it look like to live as a friend of Christ?

Trusting in Jesus:

Trusting in Him. It is realizing we are sinners. We are---we mess things up. We have gone down the wrong road and made mistakes that caused us to be separated from God. It is turning to other things and trying to live our own way instead of turning to God. Still while we were refusing to follow Him and obey Him, He sent his son Jesus to come and die on the cross for our sins, taking our punishment, and giving us His freedom! It is not because of anything that is in us that brought Christ to take our sins. It is because of God's goodness and His overflowing love for us! Trusting in Him means accepting His free gift.

Realizing the amazing love the Lord has for us! Choosing Him. Choosing to give our lives to Him as we reflect on the great sacrifice He has made on our behalf.

10 "We hope in the living God, the Savior of all people. In particular, he is the Savior of all those who believe in him." (1 Timothy 4:10)

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

Spending time with Him:

Reading His Word.
Spending time in Prayer
Listening to Him speak to us through music and friends as we place ourselves in relationships with other Christ-followers.
This is the best place to be.
How do we have a friend if we never spend time with them?
What kind of quality is that relationship? He is deserves our ALL!

"She [Martha] had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said....Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:39;42)

Obeying Him:

What we do reveals the condition of our heart. It shows the love we have. When we have a friend that we deeply love and they are sick, we desire to take action of some form. We choose to take care of them and be there for them however we can. In relationships, love is spending time with others and recognizing how valuable those relationships are in our lives... We show our love for them. We too need to show our love to Christ by obeying Him and His Word—giving Him our full attention. Giving Him every part of our lives!

"Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me." (John 14:21-24)

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:9-12)

Light of the World (Part 2)

Matthew 5:14-16

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

How are we able to share our testimony and shine for Him if we are hiding?

This becomes the issue. It isn't so much about the mask, but the reason behind the mask. We have to know the reason before we can begin to take off our mask or even change the position of the mask. As we begin to think of those reasons, we really need to take time to sit before the Lord and talk with Him about these things. He will begin to show us how to approach these things that make us want to put on the mask. It is at this point of being real with ourselves and others that we can really shine for the Lord.

There are different things that will have influenced us hiding ourselves and situations.In order to begin to let our light shine, we have to discover why we are in hiding. Is it fear? Uncomfortable to be real at times? Is it to escape judgment? Why are we in hiding in the first place?

Comfort should not stop how we allow God to use us. If it was about comfort, I wouldn't have mentioned my own mask in the last blog. I'd share about the mask of someone else and how they have chosen to hide themselves from the world, which limited their testimony. It is definitely not about comfort.

Will others judge us when we openly share our testimony? Yes at times, they will. Some will be judged more than others. I am reminded of what Matthew 5:10 says: "God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." (NLT) Doing right will bring persecution. Doing right also brings something much stronger:: God's blessings! God will continue to bless us as we take off the mask and let our light shine! Alot of times, we stop speaking when others come after us or speak ill about our vulnerability to share. We need to keep speaking, even when it's difficult. God will keep on strengthening us and giving us the words to speak. He will also show us how to be a light in how we live.

If a mask is put on to protect ourselves from fear, we owe it to ourselves and God to see what we fear? Fear does not come from the Lord, but peace does. Often times if I am fearful to do something, I know that means I need to do it. Fear may be something to derail us when others need to hear our story and know how God is working in our lives.

Also some put on their mask, because it is easier than being their true selves, It may be "easier", because we will blend in. We will be conforming to the world, but we are not to conform. We need to be a bright light shining for the world to see. We need to stand out and offer ourselves fully to God--even when it means sharing our lives when it is anything but easy. Some may think it is easier, because there is less judgment or the fear won the fight. It may be easier, because we give into the urge to not show our testimony and how God is working in our lives. It is easier to give into feeling rather than the truth that we need to be real and let our light brightly shine. A lot of us want to hide who we are. Others may not understand. Others may leave us. Others may judge us. Others may... do lots of things. We owe it to ourselves to be real, and show our true selves. We owe to God to brightly shine for Him--showing His great love through how He has worked in our lives.

Many things can keep us in the place of hiding ourselves, but we have been given a testimony. Our testimony is nothing to hide. God is working in our lives, which is worthy of sharing for all to hear. It doesn't matter what particular way He is working. We need to proclaim it that God is working in our lives! How we could open up and be real looks different for each person. This is why it is so important to take time to go before Him and seek the reasons for the masks and hiding. Take time in prayer to talk with God about the reasons of the mask. Talk to Him about the struggle you feel. He is ready and able to help and strengthen you!

We need to take the time and see how God is using us to be a light to the world? We need to be willing to be real and share with others how God is working in our lives. We need to be willing to share who we really are without fear or anything else preventing us from speaking.