Brokenness and Humility in Trials

I have a bit preoccuppied, and haven't had time to read or write much. I have been pretty much centered on my scripture reading plan, which is a really good place to read. As a result, I haven't been able to get into "The Practice of the Presence of God" since Sunday. I am going to spend some time reading very soon. I am just not sure when it will happen. I think I am going to get some book reading time in on Thursday since I don't have class on Thursday. I will have the day free..

God has really been speaking tenderly to me about brokenness. After a bad doctor appointment and some other things happening, I just feel really really broken. I know, God is using this time to continue the molding process. Trials are not just something that happen, but God uses them to discipline (part of the molding process) us and draw us closer to Him. I am reminded that we are like jars of clay. God is my potter. He is constantly making me new. Part of the process is to be vulnerable, and allow him to do what He does to make the inner me and my life beautiful. Each moment, hour, day, opportunity, trial, and temptation brings new ways for God to show Himself to me, and continue to build my trust in Him.

I am sitting here, seeking to explain this process of being broken down and being vulnerable to an audience that may not know the Lord Jesus as their Savior. God is my ultimate Father. Like any child, I need discipline. Not to harm me, but it is for my ultimate benefit--It is this process of keeping me on the right path that grows my faith, draws me closer to God, and constantly gives me this amazing intimacy I can have only with my Creator. People will constantly fail me, but God never will fail.

It is this chance to get rid of things from my life that I cherish. It is opportunity of serious spiritual growth and getting "stronger" that I cherish. While I despise the moments of trials running me off the road in a sense, I value the intimacy that I learn to cherish during these moments.

There are many websites bashing brokenness. I know, I just visited a few of them. There are many scriptures on brokenness itself. There will be a list at the end of this blog, as there typically is.

I love what Matthew Henry writes in a commentary on brokenness using Matthew 9:18-26 on the bleeding woman and the daughter of a leader. Jesus is willing to enter into our brokenness with us. If Jesus is risk everything to enter into our brokenness, then it says to me that being broken and vulnerable is worth the emotional pain it may cause and it is worth our own risk. 

It is about being humble, which is a sometimes daily practice of realizing that only by submission to the Holy Spirit can any Christian ever allow God to do His good works through them. Being humble is not about always being right nor is it about never speaking up. Humility in its truest forms is about being able to ask for forgiveness, not need to put on a "false front", and is choosing to not argue. I have tons to learn about humility, and I am in no way there..

It is also about relying totally on God. It is not about relying on my own strength, but that has gotten me nowhere. I know my strength is not enough, and will never be enough. The only One who is enough is Jesus Christ. Only Jesus can carry me through trials and struggles that will come on constantly until I finally die (or at least that is what I am learning from Job 14).

While I have not arrived at humility or total dependence on God, I am realizing more and more this is why this is the season of my life. This is why I am constantly experiencing trials. God is still teaching me, thankfully! I am still learning what it means to be a follower of Christ, and how to live humbly and walk with God daily and depend on Him.

What I find comfort in is God comforting me in this process of trials and messed up feelings..

Job 35:9-10 reads, "The oppressed cry out beneath the wrongs that are done to them. They groan beneath the power of the mighty. Yet they don't ask, 'Where is God my Creator, the one who gives songs in the night?" God comforts us during our darkest times.

Psalm 34:18- The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Micah 6:8- He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

James 4:10- Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Isaiah 57:15- The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: "I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.

James 4:6- But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Matthew 5:4- God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Psalm 51:17- The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.